


And Life

by tildarcta



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Star Wars: Rebels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:01:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25610995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tildarcta/pseuds/tildarcta
Summary: After the war on Endor, Rex and Ahsoka meet for the first time since Malachor.
Relationships: CT-7567 | Rex & Ahsoka Tano
Comments: 8
Kudos: 49





	And Life

”No, Lieutenant, don’t – ”

The young man fired his blaster at the old stormtrooper armor piled in a corner next to a makeshift landing platform. The bolt went through the helmet and three other parts, leaving them smoking. Rex squeezed his fists and marched towards the man until he was close enough to poke him in the chest.

“Those parts were left there on purpose, Lieutenant! They were to be used as material for repairs, and I sincerely hope you are ready to make sure they are still usable or otherwise you’re going to get more. Personally.”

The man looked away, his face defiant. Young, reckless men, looking more for excitement than political justice were still an unfortunately common occurrence in their ranks. They lacked discipline, lacked all basic training in how to treat guns with the respect they needed and the respect towards their senior officers. This despite the fact that the second Death Star had been already blown up over two weeks ago.

They were still on Endor making plans, sending messages and representatives to other locations and figuring out their next steps. And Rex was having a very bad day.

“Do I make myself clear, Lieutenant?” he barked as the man avoided his gaze.

“Yes.”

“Yes what?”

“Yes sir.”

Rex nodded crustily and walked away.

One would think finally delivering a killing blow to the Empire would have cheered him up – this being the first war in his life that he had actually won – but after a week the effect had started to wear off. Life continued no matter who had the power, the tasks were more or less the same and every day Rex was more convinced that he needed to retire for good.

His body was still in good enough condition: that was what you got after a lifetime as a professional soldier, but the troops kept getting more and more reckless as the years went on, the missions never stopped, and he was not sure he could take that anymore. And everything was made harder by the fact that every day he felt more and more alone.

Hera was still here, and Zeb, and Kallus. He had friends in the rebellion, but they had their own lives. Hera was a mother now, and a prominent figure in the rebellion with her hands full of work. Kallus he did not really know that well, and Zeb, well, he had his eyes already on the horizon.

Which left Rex often alone with officers he didn’t know at all and who didn’t know him. People who did not know anything about his past or experience and who felt like they existed on another level completely, detached from his world that was slowly crumbling into pieces.

He swatted a small insect on his arm that would have probably infected him with something terrible and deadly. Now it just left an ugly stain, which at the moment felt equally annoying.

“Captain!”

He turned his head to see the same Lieutenant from before running to catch him.

“Didn’t I give you something to do?”

“Yes, but I was told that – “

“What.”

In the dimming evening light under the trees he did not see the man’s face properly, but his posture was not at all less proud and stubborn it had been a moment ago.

“Sergeant Pehka came to tell me that a transmission was sent for you.”

“And why didn’t he come to tell me this himself?”

“I don’t know, he just said that he’s been looking for you for ages, _sir_.” The last word was spat out as almost an insult and Rex had to bite back a very unprofessional growl.

“Well you can tell Sergeant Pehka”, he drawled, “that I have been busy trying to keep idiots like you from acting like ones all. Day.” And before the man could answer, he turned on his heels and headed towards the communications setup in a tree house the ewoks had left empty.

“Captain!” Greeted a Twilek woman called Laccaa outside the house. She was holding a steaming cup of something in her hands that smelled heavenly, and Rex wanted nothing more than to get one for himself, sit down on the wooden bridge overlooking the green moon and forget everything. Fat chance.

“There was a transmission for me?”

“Yes”, said Laccaa, glancing at the doorway behind her. The room inside was softly lit. “It came hours ago, where have you been?” 

Rex sighed and shook his head.

“I had a lot to do, I’m afraid. Is it important?” Laccaa bit her lip.

“You know, I think it is. But you’re too late. She already came to us.”

Rex frowned. “Who…?”

At that moment a figure emerged from the tree house. Rex could not see her properly in the darkness, the light of the hut shining from behind her. She stopped at the door, her hand on the frame.

“What’s going on”, he asked, taking a step forward. “Who are you?”

“Rex”, she said, and that kind of voice coming from someone with tall montrals silhouetted against the light was… Rex winced.

“How important is this”, he asked quietly. “I’ve had a long day and if there’s a chance this can wait until tomorrow…” The person took a step closer and Rex forced himself to look at her.

The face staring back at him was not possible. 

So Rex did not believe it. He shook his head again and closed his eyes. His arms trembled.

“No, not now. Not today.”

“Rex?”

“No”, Rex whispered. “Just no.”

“Are you all right?” He vaguely registered Laccaa’s voice but did not answer. The woman standing next to them did.

“Perhaps you should… Could you give us a moment? I promise he will be all right.”

There was a silence and Rex could almost smell Laccaa’s hesitation. He sort of wished she would say no and the person next to them would disappear and he could go back to living his miserable day. That would maybe make more sense than whatever that was happening now.

But there was a shuffling sound and then Laccaa’s voice closer to him.

“I’m going to go to the western unit. I’ll be there if you need me.” Steps retreated towards the ladder, then there was silence.

“How much did Ezra tell you?” 

Her voice was soft and steady. Rex kept his eyes closed and pretended she was only in his head.

“He didn’t say anything.”

“I’m sorry.” 

He could feel her coming closer and stopping somewhere near him. She paused and said, “I’m here, Rex.”

He opened his eyes, and Ahsoka Tano was standing in front of him, despite his mind still trying to rebel against his own senses. Her eyes reflected the last light of the sky and a soft white cloak on her shoulders made her look more like a shadow than a real person. He shook his head again, this time slightly desperately. Had he been able to focus on it, he would have found the strange desire for her to be real and not real at the same time very curious.

“Is it really you?” He asked instead, his voice hoarse. She tilted her head and gave him a sad sort of smile.

“More or less”, she answered and then, “Yes.”

He did not ask for permission, simply stepped forward and wrapped her in his arms, then buried his face in her shoulder.

“I’m too old for this”, he croaked and felt his whole body starting to tremble. Ahsoka’s arms could not bring him any closer than Rex was already holding her, but she raised them anyway and brought them behind his back. Rex was thankful for that. He might have fallen into pieces then and there, had she not been there to hold him together. The tears came anyway.

“I’m so tired”, he sobbed into her shoulder, not exactly sure why. She stroked his back.

“I know. It’s all right.”

He cried for a long time. She did not let go.

Night came quickly on Endor, and as they sat down inside the small hut, all that remained of the day was the greenish blue glow on the western horizon. The birds had started singing what the rebels were now calling the night piping. They did it every evening for an hour or so, the quiet, melodic sound starting from the east and slowly moving towards the west, following the twilight. Rex had barely noticed it this night, but Ahsoka was listening to it serenely.

“I’m, ah, sorry about earlier”, Rex rasped, voice still weak. “I’m more used to hearing someone died, not that someone lived. Well, there was Echo, but…” He sniffed. “Still. That’s two against… more than I can count.”

Ahsoka who was sitting on the opposite side of the table, looked at him with a gentle expression on her face.

“It’s all right Rex. Besides, I think I prefer being the one that lived.” 

Rex turned his eyes to the steaming mug in his hands. It radiated warmth and he wrapped his fingers tighter around it.

“You were the one that died.” 

Ahsoka drew a breath and released it in a long sigh. She bowed her head.

“I’m sorry.”

“Ezra and Kanan came back from Malachor that day”, Rex began quietly. “Kanan was blind, Ezra was shaken to the core and you… you didn’t come back. They said you were trapped inside an exploding temple with a Sith lord and I…” He drew a shuddering breath. 

“I just had to get used to the idea that I was going to be the one to outlive everyone. The one being in the galaxy who had no business to live longer than anyone else. 

“Just think about it”, he continued before Ahsoka could interrupt. “I was bred to be a soldier, to give my life for the Republic. I was a part of a nameless mass with accelerated aging just to get me to be useful as fast as possible. And for years I’ve been the only one who lived. The Jedi died. My brothers died and the ones who didn’t were turned into mindless machines. You died. Kanan died. Ezra – no one knows. People fighting to overthrow the Empire I helped to create died and continue to die. And I… still live.”

“For what it’s worth”, Ahsoka said after a beat, slowly and gently, “I’m very glad that you’re still alive.”

Rex closed his lids against the new wetness in his eyes and searched blindly for Ahsoka’s hand on the table. She brought it closer and took a hold of his trembling one.

“And I’m so glad that you are alive too”, he whispered. He leaned his head against his other hand and covered his eyes.

“Old age has made me soft, forgive me”, he coughed then, chuckling miserably.

“Nothing to be sorry for, Rex. These days I think tears are underappreciated. Besides,” she rubbed her thumb over his hand, “I have a feeling most people still wouldn’t call you a softie.”

Rex snorted.

“So, why did you come?” he asked then, lifting his gaze. “And where were you?”

Ahsoka shrugged and twirled her own mug on the table.

“I was on Malachor, mostly. Learning. Turns out there’s quite a bit I was unaware of when it comes to the Force.”

“And you learned from the Sith?”

“Not exactly.”

Rex shook his head and sighed. “I won’t even ask, I wouldn’t understand anyway.”

“Oh, you would”, Ahsoka said, “But you would understand it differently than I did. And I wouldn’t know how to explain it.”

“And I’m not asking you to, but I would like to know what you are doing now. Do you have some sort of plan?”

“No plan, but an objective”, Ahsoka answered and brought her other hand to Rex’s as well. She looked at him with the same faint smile that had followed Rex into his dreams for years now, and all of a sudden, in the wooden tree house thirty meters above ground, built by furry creatures just tall enough to reach his knee, he felt at home. 

“I promised Ezra I would find him, when I get back.”

Rex frowned.

“I – but… do you know where he is? We assumed… We haven’t heard anything from him since Lothal, and that was a while back. I think most of us just assumed him dead by now.”

“I don’t think he is”, Ahsoka said, and a glimmer of hope found its way into his mind. She tilted her head and something twinkled in her eyes.

“Would you like to come with me?”

When Rex that night fell asleep on the floor of his room with a smile on his face and Ahsoka wrapped up next to him in her cloak, his last thoughts were of life. 

Ahsoka was alive. He remembered her hand in his own as they walked to the sleeping areas, when the birds had quieted down and the people were slowly disappearing inside. 

Ezra was alive. They would take Sabine with them and find him, even if they had to search every planet in the galaxy.

He was alive. More so than in a long time. His life had been surrounded by war and death from the moment he was born, but now as he lay under his blanket, listening to the breathing of another and with the war finally coming to an end, maybe there could be peace. Peace and life. 

He was free to live his life and see his friends do the same.

And he damn well deserved it.

**Author's Note:**

> Ehh, I just found this on my computer and decided that it's of no use to anyone unless I post it here, and I'm posting it now before Filoni comes up with stuff and this becomes an AU. I don't know if I like this or not, but the point here is that there are far too little fics about Rex and Ahsoka during and after Rebels and now I have done my part in fixing that terrible wrong. I guess. I hope it entertains other people than me as well. 
> 
> Rex deserves the world. If you think otherwise, you are mistaken. I will fight you. And you will lose.


End file.
